August 17, 2021 Bill's Toupee : a tribute song to Dale

 I was listening to an interview with Shaun the other day and he said Dale asked him why "She had Bill's Toupee".  Gasoline. Bills to pay.  This is my kind of humor.  I hear and read interesting things that turn out to be NOT what I was supposed to hear and read.  Bill's Toupee.  You can't unhear that!  The next time I listened to Gasoline, I cracked up.  Sorry, Shaun!

Well, I thought, why stop there?  I certainly can't.  With homage to the king and master of parody songs, Weird Al Yankovic, I decided Bill's Toupee could be a song in and of itself.  After all, I'm the kid who was singing, "Marsie dotes and Dosie dotes and little lambsie dydies."  I didn't learn the correct lyrics until I was twenty-three.

Bill's Toupee 

Sung to the tune of Gasoline by Seether 
(Music by Shaun and Dale, lyrics, unfortunately for Shaun, by me)

She used to be a beauty queen, runs a wig and nail shop

 I saw it in a magazine, Bill showed me last month 

I wanna get some hair myself, want some cover for my pate

Wanna get some acetate and burn her shop down

 She took my order today, she's got Bill's toupee

I tried to pick it up, but she won't give it to me.

She used to be a beauty queen, she shaved my hair off 

I showed her the picture in the magazine, but she took it all off

I wanna order a toupee or a hair piece anyway

Wanna get some acetate and burn her shop down

She took my order today, she's got Bill's toupee

I tried to pick it up, but she won't give it to me 

When that pseudo-beauty queen sniffs her Revlon

Ghosts me like something she wipes her ass on

Just wanna look less friggin' bald; want some hair, is that so odd

Wanna get some acetate and burn her shop down

She took my order today, she's got Bill's toupee

She won't give it up; especially to me

She likes Chevrolets, she hates me anyway

Hirsute or bald; she can't stand me.  

 

Especially me...

 

                    

             EM

P.S. Ok, here's another one.

Remedy

    Dale, his skin is pretty pale, his bass will never fail

    He's really part of the remedy

    Drink the beer that gets you high, just leave them where they lie

    And tell yourself, "Shaun will pick them up for me."

    

    

    


 

 

 

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