March 7, 2021 Holding Onto Posts Better Left to Fray
The band and/or Shaun is hot, cute and I am in love [mildly unrealistic, potentially annoying]
Hey, what about Dale, John and Corey? They are cute too! I can actually sympathize with these types of comments. I was a teenage girl at one time. I was in love with Pete Townsend. My hero was cute, so hot, could do no wrong, would choose me if he just knew me because I loved him the most out of anyone!! Now, YEARS later, I may feel that way for a second, and then experience and practicality rise up and wash the feeling away. So the band Seether is made up of men who happen to write and play music for a living. Very demanding and very visible profession. At this point all are or have been married and most have children. Shaun and John have children who are now adults. With a few notable exceptions, musicians and other people with visible professions are not likely to throw their family life away for a sixteen year old who they don't know who love, love, loves them. What do their significant others think of these "he's so hot" posts? I guess it depends on the character of who they are married to and the spouses' confidence. If someone posted my husband was hot (he'd deny it...hotly) I would say, "Yes, I know, too bad for you, he's mine." Well, no, I'd think that. I'd likely just say "Thank You."
Two things about cheating on spouses. When I was growing up, a friend of the family said he just couldn't help himself. My Dad told my Mom later, "All you have to do is keep your pants zipped." My mom told me that much later. I was going home to visit my parents early in our marriage and asked my husband if he minded if I saw an old boyfriend who was also there. He thought about it for a minute and said, "Either I trust you or I don't."
So a 24 year old, unmarried band member may be free to do as he sees fit. A 40 year old, married band member has a lot more to lose and a lot more experience with the situations he may find himself in. In both cases, taking up with a 16 year old can get him arrested. And a girl who is younger than his own children?" As the age gap widens, a man or woman has less and less in common with another person who is years if not decades younger than they are. Except for mutual interest in body parts, opposing or complementary. And although young people can be very beautiful, looking at a young woman and seeing someone who looks like your daughter would have a definite chilling affect.
Fat shaming and Ageism [judgmental and irritating]
Seether started out touring their home country when they were in their late teens. For some strange reason, twenty years later, they are 20 years older. It can be a shock to see them on music videos for Gasoline or Driven Under [when, to me at 60+ they look really, really young] and then see the Bruised and Bloodied video [they still look young to me]. There was a post complaining about Shaun getting fat and all of them looking old, as if musicians should stop playing until they lose weight and/or get younger. Self righteous, depression-free people who suggest diet and exercise annoy me. As if we've never heard that before. And the picture of Dale in the air playing bass and the remark that Shaun doesn't "take air" like that. Well, have you tried to jump three feet off the ground and sing at the same time? Come on! Even Dale, who is like the Energizer Bunny on stage, stays still to sing. John appears to get a pretty strenuous aerobic workout just playing drums.
Not to belabor the point, but I don't see the connection between the quality of the music and the size or age of the musician. Close your eyes or put a bag over your head. I bet you can't tell what size, what color or how old the singer is. You may be able to tell the gender, but not always. As the lyrics go in the song from the musical Cabaret, "I understand your objection, I grant you the problem's not small. But if you could see her through my eyes. She wouldn't look Jewish at all." Love the music, love the musician. If you don't like what you see, close your eyes and shut the fuck up.
Inappropriate Questions [NYFBs]
There was a Reddit Q & A with Shaun and as I was going through it, reading the questions, they were mostly thoughtful or at least well meaning. Some such as, "Why does your band suck" made me wonder why the person even wrote in. Egotistical show-off. But the one that really got me was the question that followed the one that asked if Shaun ever sniffed blow from a whore's ass. Well, that one was bad enough. Not Your Fucking Business. Have you ever heard the words Private and Inappropriate? But the one that followed was just plain mean, applying the same question to Amy Lee. Really, appallingly inappropriate and so NYFB that I want the person to come over so I can slap them. This was a woman he was in love with, for God's sake! Why would you think asking something like that would be O.K.? Because it makes you sound funny and hip? I'm still mad about it. Shaun, most properly, didn't respond. But I will. You little shithead! O.K., deep breath. What is it about anonymous quality of the Internet that people post anything and they think the anonymous nature absolves them from any responsibility? Would you ask that question to Shaun's face? If you say yes, you truly are a total dumbass. And I'd be happy to say that to your face.
I think I may have gotten this out of my system and can let these posts go. Hopefully. The take-away from reading through my somewhat ranting post is: don't attempt to break up marriages, treat people like they are human beings, because they are, be kind and be aware of what questions you ask, and if you can't say something nice, shut the fuck up.
EM
PS I realized this morning that my opinion here was in opposition to my "no censorship, no banning books" stance. So it's your right to ask. My boss was talking about someone in another department asking a question and ended with, "There are no stupid questions." I said, "True, but it doesn't stop you from sounding like a dumbass." This didn't go over very well. This is why I don't open my mouth often to comment on things outside my immediate family. My brain goes straight to my mouth, bypassing the tactfulness gland. At least my family thinks I'm funny.
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